IU Has Taken Another Shot At Purdue

I’m sure you remember Purdue’s rebuttal to IU’s piece “19 Reasons Purdue is the Worst School in the Big Ten” – well, IU has a rebuttal to the rebuttal. The numbered points are the original rebuttals Purdue student-writers made.

purduesucks

1. The limestone makes IU’s campus look like an insane asylum.

The Pentagon, Washington National Cathedral, Lincoln Memorial, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, plus many more iconic buildings are all made out of Indiana limestone, which is OUR state’s most valuable natural resource. In other words, you’re insulting America, Jesus, Jews, President Lincoln, and our beautiful state. What do you like besides the color black and communism? “Astronauts” is not an answer because that’s getting old.

2. Everyone can agree that crimson is the worst shade of red and no one wants to wear a cream colored shirt that looks like you got showered in semen.

Red is the color of power. Black is the color of death.

3. Purdue has more players in the NFL that made the playoffs than IU has in the entire league.

This insult is mediocre at best.

4. The inventor of chicken nuggets did his research at Purdue. You’re welcome.

Those are pretty dank, but the author of The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins, graduated from IU in 1985. Do I need to mention Mark Cuban? You’re even more welcome.

5. The majority of IU’s fanbase went to Ball State or a community college.

It’s the other way around. It’s okay Purdue… the first step is denial.

6. Everyone is tired of the “IUBB” hashtag. No, IU you will not be getting another banner, give it up.

Unfollow me.

7. You have no mascot to represent your school. Claiming the “Hoosier” doesn’t make sense considering Purdue also represents Indiana.

I’d rather have “no mascot” than a mascot that looks like a creep.

8. IU isn’t considered the Ivy league of the Midwest like we are.

“Purdue University…ranked lower this year than last year.” (source)

9. Purdue has been ranked as one of the most difficult schools to receive an A, and yes, most graduate with over a 3.0 GPA

That sucks it’s harder to get an A. I’m guessing our GPA average is better since like… A’s are easier here.

10. We don’t have a dorm known as McSlut.

Call it whatever you want, but you wish you could experience McSlut. It may or may not have been ranked #2 as the biggest party dorm. (source)

11. IU’s breakfast clubs are not even comparable to Purdue’s.

Any UNBIASED person would laugh at that.

12. They don’t have Cactus Thursdays, and who doesn’t love Cactus Thursdays? (Neon Cactus was ranked as being one of the 31 Best College Bars in America by Business Insider)

Kilroy’s Sports. Please don’t make me say this again. If you double check that list, Kilroy’s is ranked #6 while you’re Cactus thing is ranked #20. #byefelicia

13. We’re not one of the top party schools, you are correct. We are actually proud of this. We were, however, just ranked as a top 20 public school in the nation. IU was not. We think this is more relevant to potential employers than our party school ranking..

Our potential employers know how to party.

14. Purdue is home to 22 Big Ten championships and 28 All-Americans.

We’ve won 21 Big Ten Championships… your comparison is meaningless. You’re also home to cargo short enthusiasts.

15. Purdue fans are known as the most loyal, whether we suck or not.

We wake up at 5am to tailgate and celebrate our football team that we know is already going to lose. Don’t talk to me about being loyal.

16. Purdue graduate, Neil Armstrong, had the first steps on the moon. Gene Cernan was the last man to walk on the moon (also a Purdue grad)

Mark Cuban has enough money to buy the moon, so shut up.

17. IU classes go later than 6:30 pm and no one has time for that.

Who actually wants a 7:30am class? We may start only 30 minutes later, but we get more sleep. Who’s the real winner?

18. Our food courts win 10 times out of 10. We don’t gain the “freshman 15″ thanks to our new $100 million dollar, 450,000 square feet rec sports facility.

Our worst dining hall would be your best. Our facilities help keep us ranked with having the hottest girls at IU. You’re not even listed out of 100 colleges. (source)

19. How can we be your “little brother” when we are 78-32 against you in football and 115-88 against you in basketball?

You’re actually our little sister. Sorry for the confusion.

Jennifer Kahn is a contributing writer for 10Worthy attending Indiana University.

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