28 Things You Say When You Go To The University of Illinois

When you go to as diverse and large of a school as U of I, you’re bound to hear some things that either have you laughing quietly to yourself, questioning your own decisions from the previous evening, or wondering if some of these people ever did.

Here’s a look at some of the ones that stuck out to me or I overhear so often they might as well be our slogan.

PartySchool1) “I’m from Chicago.” “Oh really, what part?” “Naperville.”

2) “Dude I woke up in my bathtub this morning with my clothes soaked, do you have any idea why?”

3) “I haven’t showered in 3 days because I’ve spent every waking moment studying for ACCY 202.”

4) “The amount of parking tickets I’ve paid probably funded all the damn construction that makes it impossible to get anywhere.”

5) “Set my phone to autocorrect Champagne to Champaign.”

6) “Who’s barndance did you go to last night?” “How’d you know I went to barndance?” “There’s a wad of hay in your hair.”

7) “Why aren’t you going to Cly’s tonight?” “Cuz of Lion last night.”

8) “Doesn’t number one party school mean anything to you?”

9) “Went to Joe’s happy hour right after my exam. Still had my backpack on.”

10) “Did you see that nasty post on the Chamabana snapstory last night?” “Which one?”

11) “They need Zondr for Chipotle.”

12) “RIP to the shoes I wore into KAM’S basement, they fought a brave battle.”

13) “I took tequila shots with the Tortica’s workers last night.”

14) “Just unintentionally gave a lap dance to this kid trying to get to an empty seat in NOYES 100.”

15) “Let’s take a shot for every ID we see getting taken at Lion!” “Dude, I’m not trying to die.”

16) “I’ve gone out two weeks in a row because of my FOMO.”

17) “There’s so many townies on campus that they’re charging $40 cover at Lion if you don’t have an iCard.”

18) “I have enough Illini gear to turn the planet into a giant orange.”

19) “I am so busy I have like no time to study for that Stats exam.” “Why didn’t you study last night?” “It was senior night dude wasn’t going to miss that.”

20) “Where’s the Cracked truck at tonight?”

21) “Might as well wear my skates to class since campus is an actual ice rink today”

22) “Visited my friend at another school and their definition of a wild time was us taking it easy on Sunday Funday.”

23) “I came home from afties at 4 a.m. last night but I still woke up for Block at 6 a.m.”

24) “I went to Fat Sandwhich last night…by myself. ”

25) “Saw my T.A. from last semester out last night so we took shots.”

26) “My transfer roommate was shocked I went out on a Monday. She’ll catch on by the end of the semester.”

27) “The week before Unofficial I have like 20 different messages from kids I haven’t talked to since high school asking to crash at my apartment.”

28) “Welcome to U of I, where we double minor in working hard and playing harder.”

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