6 Things Women Actually Want For Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year where couples all over the world can profess their love for one another publicly and/or over the internet without people completely hating them. When it comes down to it though, women don’t really want flowers and chocolate and all that other crap. Here are a few things women actually might want for Valentine’s Day.

6.) A Foot-long Meatball Sub From Subway:

If this isn’t the footlong you’re truly looking for, kindly click out of this page. Women’s interests lie on food a lot of the time. It’s on our minds most of the time anyway, why not make our fantasies come true?


5.) A chicken bouquet from KFC

More food. If you’re going to try to be cute, at least be cute with a bouquet of chicken. You literally can’t go wrong with food.


4.) To Never Have to Take a F***Ing Zumba Class Ever Again:

If you’ve ever been to Zumba, you know it can be one of the most nightmarish things in the universe. The music is loud and fast, the cardio sucks, and the way-too-skinny- for her age girl next to you keeps getting mad that you’re kicking her.


3.) A Large Inheritance From an Estranged Uncle:

What we wouldn’t do for more money, eh? The best part of life is accumulating so much stuff that you can’t walk in your apartment without stepping over at least 100 pairs of shoes from Zappos.com and all those fake plants you drunk ordered on your Amazon Prime account last weekend.


2.) An Hour of Uninterrupted Silence:

God if one hour is all it takes to get away from creepy Mike who seems to always be at the same bar as you and wants you to come to his apartment to meet all 10 of his pet iguanas then SO BE IT. Women want a moment to themselves here and there as if it’s manna from heaven. Take note.


1.) To Eat and Never Gain Any Weight:

Imagine those 20 Girl Scout cookies and half a bag of Sun Chips you ate last night NEVER affecting your figure. That’s right—unlimited food, and you still get to keep the body type you have now.


There you have it, ladies.  Now get out there and start livin’.

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